Posted on 2010.09.12 at 00:52
Current Location: The Big Easy
Current Mood: worried
On Friday, Grandma Jules took me to the place, where all the airplanes live.
When we got there, she put me in my kitty crate, patted my head, told me to be good and then handed me off to a nice police man type dude, who put me in a very special room on the plane called ‘Cargo’.
This was my first time taking a plane trip by myself, and I was nervous and excited at the same time.
I think the little pill Grandma Jules made me swallow, must have sent me of to the land of dreams, because the next thing I knew, the familiar voice of Mr. John said “Welcome to the ‘Big Easy’, Jella.”
Mr. John took me to my parents, and I was especially happy to see Mom, because the last time I saw her was over three weeks ago. Mom snuggled with me on the sofa in the fancy hotel room, while Dad played the guitar and sang a new song he wrote for her.
Late this morning, Mom and Dad were still asleep, probably because they spent all night rolling around on the bed, kissing, calling each other God, and making noises like they were in pain. I don’t think I’ll ever understand the strange ways humans play with each other.
I was wide awake, and wanted to play so I started to nibble on Mom’s ear and bat at her hair. Mom didn’t want to play and pushed me off the bed. Dad’s hand was hanging off the bed, so I started batting at his fingers but he didn’t want to play either, and moved his hand under the pillow out of my reach.
I continued with my quest to get Mom and Dad to play with me, by attacking their feet every time they moved them under the covers. Mom and Dad just kept pushing me off the bed, rolling over, and trying to ignore me. They had tossed and turned so much that all the covers ended up in a heap on the floor.
I played in the mountain of bedding until something else caught my eye. Dad was lying on his back and there it was, this funny looking dangly thing near the lower part of his stomach, and between his legs. I wasn’t sure if it was a new cat toy that I had somehow missed, but it looked interesting enough, and I knew I just had to check it out. I crouched down, waited for the perfect moment, extended my claws, and then pounced on it with all my might.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard Dad yell that loud before, or say so many cuss words in one breath. Dad threatened to send me back home, so now Mom has me staying with Uncle Tom and Uncle Sam in their hotel room. They are great guys, and it's always fun to hang out with them.
Tonight Mom and Dad didn’t go out to dinner with everyone else, they said they were staying in, and didn’t want to be disturbed. Uncle Tom and Uncle Sam told Mom and Dad they understood, and were cool with entertaining themselves for the night. I heard Uncle Tom laugh, as he and Uncle Sam talked about the plans they had come up with.
Uncle Sam called the front desk, and told them Mom and Dad needed more towels in their room. Uncle Tom ordered 50 pizzas, and had them delivered to Mom and Dad’s room. Uncle Sam knocked on Mom and Dad’s door, and then ran away as fast as he could. Uncle Tom called Mom and Dad’s room three different times, and hung up as soon as one of them would answer.
Finally, Uncle Sam, and Uncle Tom pulled the fire alarm, and stood there laughing as Mom and Dad ran out into the hallway wrapped in the towels that had been delivered earlier.
Mom and Dad were not amused, and hopefully they’ll get over being upset with Uncle Tom and Uncle Sam by morning, otherwise the three of us might end up with one way plane tickets, to wherever Mom and Dad decide to send us.
Wish me luck,
Posted on 2010.09.09 at 18:52
Current Location: chillin with the little grandma type lady
Current Mood: awake
This morning Dad called to check in with the little grandma type lady. She told him everything is just fine, and that I've been no trouble at all. Dad told her to hold the phone by my ear, and when she did he said " Hey, Jella I miss you mate." " Tom, Sam and I have had quite the adventure on our way to see your mum." " I'm sorry you couldn't come with us this time, but I bought you a new cat toy in Santa Fe, and another in Houston to make it up to you." Then he said for me to be good, and that him and Mom would see me soon.
I really miss my parents. I miss Dad playing the guitar and singing. I miss Mom making the house smell good with freshly baked pies, and giggling when Dad comes up behind her to kiss her on the neck. I miss all of us snuggling together on the sofa, and I miss Mom and Dad taking turns reading to each other from their favorite books.
The little grandma type lady likes to read, and sometimes she reads out loud because it helps her step inside the story, at least that's what she says, even though I've never seen a human go into a book and then come back out.
Tonight she got out Mom's copy of Breaking Dawn and read through quite a few chapters, before we both fell asleep. It wasn't long after, and I was off in the land of dreams. Mom was laying on a table as a fountain of blood spouted from her mouth. Dad ripped her tummy open with his teeth and pulled out a female creature that had a human's body, a cat's head and huge sharp teeth.
Mom started crying happy tears and said " Look Jella, your sister is beautiful just like you." Then Dad placed the creature in mom's arms and it bit a small chunk of mom's chest right off.
Dad flung the creature across the room away from Mom, but it got up super fast and came back to bite some more. The creature bit me, it bit Dad, and it even bit the nice little grandma type lady.
Finally Dad gave the creature two hot pockets, a cold beer, Flamin Hot Cheetos and some cat nip which seemed to make it very happy. Dad told Jake who is part dog, part shark and part human to take the creature away, make some sort of print on her and never come back. Jake agreed, but said he'd like to make a print on me too. He was looking at me funny and seemed to enjoy petting my ass.
Jake made me very uncomfortable so I tried to run and hide under the sofa, but he caught me, kissed my nose, and told me I had amazingly beautiful eyes for a cat.
Suddenly Mom said she was hungry and started to chase the little grandma type lady around the room. Dad stopped her and said " No, love you can only eat animals, remember?" Then Mom looked at me, smiled and came towards me licking her lips. Dad grabbed me, and the freak baby with huge teeth, plopped us into Jake's arms, and shoved us out the door.
I woke up to the sound of the little grandma type lady laughing at something funny on TV. I jumped back up onto her lap, and allowed myself to relax, forget about the freak baby, forget about the strange dude named Jake, and forget about my mom wanting to eat me.
I know it was just a horrible dream, but I definitely won't be putting up a fuss , if I can't stay with Mom and Dad while they're filming 'Breaking Dawn.' I've also decided they can take all the time in the world, with bringing home a human sibling as well.
Until next time,